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Editorials

How the Cookie Crumbles – Your Flyers as Girl Scout Cookies

As the hockey season continues, we approach a more exciting portion of our year- Girl Scout Cookie season. Girl Scout Cookies’ origins are in Philly, and Girl Scouts of Eastern PA annual sale starts on January 20th, 2022, and extends through March 13th, 2022. One of this year’s top prizes for selling is a 4-pack of tickets to various event choices at the Wells Fargo Center. To celebrate all the fantastic business women who will reach that goal, let’s look at the Flyers’ alignment with these delicious treats. 

Thin Mints

An old reliable. When you love them, it’s the only cookie you can think about. If you’re a hater, the whole county knows your thoughts about them. For this reason, the Thin Mint is Claude Giroux. He’s an elite player, whether you agree or not. He’s the most recognizable Flyer, just like the Thin Mint is as a Girl Scout Cookie. The face of our organization, top jersey seller, and a versatile player. The Thin Mints versatility is grossly underrated and can be eaten room temp, frozen, used as a s’more based, and made into a variety of desserts and drinks. 

Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs

If you eat a Peanut Butter Patty too recklessly, they’ll crumble and leave a horrible mess to clean up. They’re my favorite cookie though, and from the first bite you can’t get enough of them. Their bright red box is intoxicating, and for that reason the Peanut Butter Patty is the king of being mic’d up, Kevin Hayes. Rewatching his moments in the tunnel yelling out nicknames brings serotonin to the games when he’s out for injury. He’s a fun player to watch, and when he’s hot my man is HOT. Things seem to crumble around him leaving him with a mess to deal with. At the end of the day, my eyes stay peeled watching for his next great highlight, and he stays a fan favorite like the Peanut Butter Patty.

Lemonades

A cookie I enjoyed significantly more than I imagined I would. In concept, a simple lemon cookie feels fantastic and when it was introduced it was a cookie I was excited about. However lemon can very easily go wrong so fast. The experience with the Lemonade cookie is almost identical to that with the introduction of Cam Atkinson. I was overjoyed with the announcement, but apprehensive. There’s been more than a few occasions where I felt we had an incredibly dynamic player coming into the mix, only for them to fall short of any hopes and dreams. Cam has put in the work this season, brings a wonderful mentoring pairing with Giroux for the younger guys, and seems to love this city as much as we love him already. Better than expected, better than I could have hoped, Cam Atkinson the Lemonade cookie. 

Shortbreads/Trefoils

There is no strong reason Scott Laughton is the Shortbread cookie. It just felt right to me. Solid cookie, gets the job done when you need it to. 

Caramel deLites/Samoas

A Caramel deLite is a donut shaped cookie so it has to be given to an all-around sweet guy. For me, this is a middle of the road cookie – I’m happy to eat it when offered, but I would never buy myself a box of them. Oskar Lindblom is in the middle of the pack points wise this season, and is an all-around great match for the Caramel deLite. He’s down to get gritty, like the toasted coconut exterior of the cookie, but during each interview you’re reminded of his golden caramel drizzle making him a player to respect and love. The dark chocolate bottom is a nod to his Swedish roots, since their chocolate is superior to ours stateside. 

Peanut Butter Sandwiches/DoSiDos

A cookie that you despise or are obsessed with. From my years as a youth selling, this is a cookie more popular with folks of an older generation. They reminisce about buying boxes of cookies for $1, and they reflect on players in the same way. Wishing he was the player that he was in his first few seasons all the time, James van Riemsdyk  is our Peanut Butter Sandwich. Though he is 6th in points for our current Flyers, JvR is still -17 on the ice. He is always a player I’m excited about, but seems to never hit the mark. A peanut butter oatmeal cookie seems so good and maybe even a bit good for me, but I’m always left unsatisfied. 

Toast-Yays

This one is Carter Hart. A newer cookie, but not the latest in the bunch. This is another divisive cookie- very popular with a younger demographic but the longer it’s been around, the more older folks I hear complain about former cookies that have left us. Would Carter Hart be a Thanks-a-Lot? Probably not, he has yet to earn that in my opinion. It’s a solid cookie. It’s not the best cookie of all nine, but it holds its own and honestly deserves a bit more respect than we give it. 

Caramel Chocolate Chip (gluten free)

Keith Yandle is our Caramel Chocolate Chip Cookie. As his cookie is gluten free, he is definitely pushed to a particular audience- those obsessed with iron man streaks. He leaves you interested but disappointed. As one can see from his stats this season. You want him to succeed, but you don’t need him in every order you place. You’ll throw him in the order, because what if you didn’t and then had a gluten-free friend come over, you’d look like a bad person. Ruining his iron man streak would make us bad people, even if I’m tired of seeing him in the lineup. 

Adventurefuls

This is the new cookie for the year and there’s a ton of hype around it before it has even arrived. There is so much hype around it people are preparing to miss out on it since it is expected to sell out so fast. I’m afraid that as a general population, we won’t get to experience the cookie as a whole, and will miss out on a lot of potential. For these reasons, the Adventureful cookie is Ryan Ellis. Ellis had a lot of fantastic hype coming into the season. I was waiting to be glued to my TV watching him perform, because as we all should know the Flyers need a strong defense backing. His 4-6 week expected time for injury recovery is at week 10, with no apparent sign of return. Will we miss out on a season of Ellis like a season of Adventurefuls? Let’s hope not. 

If you want to purchase the cookies that represent your favorite Flyer, you can Text “Cookies” to 59618, download the cookie finder app, or use the cookie finder with your zip code here. Girls and their troops get money for each box sold to help complete badges, journeys, and go on meaningful trips. If the Flyers aren’t worth your monetary support right now, help a girl in your neighborhood reach their goals.

Born in 215, currently in 315; formerly 813, 302, and 307. No one has ever seen me and Gritty in the same room. Avid trash-talker when WFC changes food vendors. Big supporter of minor league teams. Proud family member of Oskar D Dog

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